There is more to sex than just an orgasm.

For a better sex life, forget about the orgasm

We all have our insecurities in the bedroom, whether we're uncomfortable with certain positions or can't reach full stimulation without the use of sex aids. Even partners who have been together for years may not be completely open about these intensely personal concerns, making it all but impossible to really make the most of their intimate time together.

Recently, Women's Day sought to do us all a favor by tackling some of the most common sexual hang-ups that we are prone to concealing. One problem that many women may be familiar with is a fixation on orgasming every time you get frisky. 

"Although it's understandable that many women want to have an orgasm, the irony is that worrying too much about orgasm—and focusing very hard on it—can actually make it more difficult to orgasm," sex specialist Debby Herbenick, PhD, told the magazine. 

Keep in mind that just because you aren't intent on an orgasm doesn't mean you can't have a great time between the sheets. Herbenick explains that focusing on the pleasure you derive outside of an orgasm, be it a sense of emotional connectivity with your partner or the sensation of a warming lubricant, is a great way to downplay the importance of one main event and instead take joy from your overall experience. 

Of course, this doesn't mean you should give up on all hope of an orgasm – just that this pleasurable sensation shouldn't be the only marker for the quality of your sex life. Once you break off your tendency to fixate on orgasm, you may even find that this aspect of your physical encounters improves.

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